I must have, somehow, accumulated a lot of bad karma.

Had lost 2 phones in the span of less than 3 months, the latter stolen (by someone who has every intention to do so) over the last weekend.

But thanks to my fantastic 4C gang and dearest Chelsea, I had a pre-birthday present. And thanks to Nokia PC Suite backup - it almost felt as if I had never lost it.

~~~~~

They put so much things into a handphone these days that it seemed to have given that machine a soul. The messages, the personalized ring tones, candid pictures. People do grow attached to their phones.

I was thinking, equipment like that was meant to give us all a better life. Cars, phones, laptops. Somehow, we ended up maintaining and looking after all these stuff that were bought (supposedly) to look after us. We get so miserable when they are damaged or lost, we vouch to make more money to replace/ repair them.

That's how people started complaining about having no time, no leisure. To fund these wants, to start this cycle that doesn't really seem to end. But these stuff do give us a better life, don't they?

Now I shall ponder what constitutes a better life. The trade-off gets more and more blurry.

I had a couple of chats with some old friends over the week. The topic, as suspected, revolves around school, future working lives, relationships and how time is a cruel constraint.

I was thinking, but didn't comment (as I was still thinking and trying to get those thoughts into proper sentences). I thought, with just thoughts of all these stresses and time-consuming stuff, it's no wonder this world got itself into this sticky web of inescapable vicious circle.

Whatever happened to just being?

Everyone is so worried about working life and making big bucks in the "real world" (whatever that means). It seems, everyone wanted to do more than what they could handle (I've heard many versions, the all time favourite is "pushing beyond your limit"). Maybe I too, got entangled into this sticky web of trying to play God and trying to create a destiny to call my own. Do everything and anything, trying to be nice to everyone.

It's tough. So look up the dictionary for the meanings to "limit" and "destiny".

I shall try to be content with just being. Turn off for a while, sometimes. Will not be easy. Sigh.

~~~~~

Dirong said we started with a dream, a vision, when we're young. Much younger.

Conformity robbed us of it. Convention knocked the edges off it. Realist-ify our dreams into tame hopes.

We learnt the language of this new world, and forget that of our dreams. It is almost as if we had lost it.

If you still recall that vision, that dream, guard it with all your life.

I woke up (not so bright and early) today, drowsy with sleep whilst trying to remember all that had happened in the past 2 weeks or so.

The problem with memories is not that they are not true. Nor that they could be exaggerated or even selective in nature.

It's just that there's so much of them to write down and ruminate upon. It almost seems that everything that happened to me over the past 2 weeks would take me a lot more time to write down than it actually took to happen.

So many words were said, so many mental pictures were taken. So many emotions were felt.

Life is fascinating.

We've been called by many names.

It started with Bridge 4, somehow became Gay 4. The Inner Circle. Now we almost became Dota Noobs 4.

Whatever happened to "Archers 4"? We deserved that! =)

Thanks fellas. Fantastic 3 years of shooting.

"What You Seek is Hard"

~~~~~

NJC Archery competition over, work ending soon, CORS started, a new semester awaits.

I realised I have not really, truly blogged in a while. Despite many thoughts and events, the energy to write just isn't there.

Jolts of thoughts hit me today. Frenzied thoughts-striking clouds. I think this blog needs a revamp to be revived. It just doesn't look fresh anymore.

Like so many things in life, relationships, actions. We need that new injection of novelty once a while. To recharge and even to protect against undesired "viruses". To always pursue, seek and figure out that extra something that we have never found out yet.

And now, I need to seek for new inspirations. To ponder over, to write, to keep my thoughts alive. And the most exceptional thing is that in the midst of doing so, I remembered the good times that made me alive. Downloading pictures of the last NJC Archery Competition, remembering the steamboat dinner; could any memory be more alive than that now?