with all the patience i can muster,
all the deep breaths i can suck in,
all the benefit of the doubts i have given,
i thought i was going to lose my cool today.

when patience reaps exploitation;
niceness reaps sarcasm;
delay reaps blame,
you have crossed the line
go ahead,
blame me for the bad upbringing of the pet,
which you simply throw into my arms.

i'm tired.
of accomodating;
of doing favours that does only you good;
and of pretending to believe the fable that it is best for us all.
save the pretense to yourself,
like what you do with all the credit.
us sacrificed,
for you to be hero.

~~~~~

and sometimes, it's all so easy to cross the line;
of friendship, into other realms.

by being negligent, by being too nice, by being too tactless, by being too concerned.
by doing more than you should, by doing less than you ought to.

and i'm afraid i have crossed it. and now i fear. losing that friendship.
why do i. always face this.

~~~~~

to maintain a peace of mind, i visited Sharon at Mandai Crematorium today. it's been a while, but i'm always glad to go back and see her.

has it been 6 years? since she was last with us? 6 years? since she left us?

sometimes i fear so much. fear losing that memory of her. of how she looks like, of the times the OG spent together, of the songs she sang, of the flowers she folded. of her.

and of all the moody minds, i found peace in the meomory of her, in the gloomy skies of Mandai.



and i took a slow drive down Mandai road, almost hoping to see some scouts hiking down the wretched road. such nostalgia. no scouts, but yet memories aplenty.

how i miss those days.