Prepare to drool.

Basically, I went to San Francisco's "The Cheesecake Factory" and ordered a Toblerone Swiss Almond Cheesecake.

Georgeously sinful. Or sinfully georgeous. Whatever. That was so filling, it became my breakfast, lunch and dinner, since I ate it like at 12 noon. I just couldn't eat anything else for the rest of the day.

For an online mouth-watering experience, visit their menu page here.

I'm so sorry but this is a digression from the event-by-event account of my trip. Due to limited connectivity and time, and also because there's so much to write, I'll postpone my writings later.

Today is the 4th morning that I've been awakened by the georgeous Californian sun. And it seems that I've been doing not much "tourist-y" sightseeing, but enoying the local atmosphere and life. Hanging out with the Singaporeans here, and exercising!

~~~~~

On Friday, with an almost sudden urge, Xiaotian brought me jogging along Berkeley Marina. I was almost freezing in my singlet and shorts but the run was great, because the view was great and because you can't really sweat in this weather. We ran about 2.4 km before we gave up while Siswi continued her amazing marathon training. Damn, 2 weak guys. haha. But I couldn't really stand the cold air rushing into my lungs as I run, so I was actually wheezing a bit, but it's a fantastic run which I intend to continue doing whilst in school.

Enough talk. Time for some pictures. Of scenery, and kites. A pity you can't feel the wind, the sun and the cold.







Where we ran, view of area from on top of a small mound.










Xiaotian walking down the slope to the other side of the mound. Smartly so, since it is less windy and thus less cold.

Later in the day, we went to play frisbee with the Berkeley Singaporean students at UC Berkeley. Playing sports rock because you don't feel yourself sweating. The sun sets really late too, because it's still the end of summer (though I'm told the change in seasons in Cali is not really noticeable.

Haoren stoning after frisbee

~~~~~

On Saturday, we went white water rafting on the Southern Fork of American River (SFA), difficulty class 3 (1 to 5). It was great fun! And the scenery between the valleys was beautiful, with sparse trees lining the khaki coloured dried grass hills. As Fall approaches, the trees were changing to shades of orange, a lovely sight. It's no wonder my favourite season is Autumn. A pity cameras were not allowed on the trip as we swish and swash down the SFA in our 6 man (plus 1 guide) boat, making wicked turns around rocks and swirling in the rapids. XT was thrown in almost immediately at the first spin spot where he lost his glasses and spoilt his watch's catch (later repaired). I was thrown in somewhere near the lunch point, and I felt the cold water hitting me more actuely than the usual splashing onto us as we rushed into the rapids. Fortinately I was pulled out almost immediately whilst XT had to be rescued by another boat. Which makes the only 2 casualty of the boat since we're rowing in front.

Lunch was simple but great. It's amazing how simple Americans' lunches are. 2 pieces of bread, some ham, veg and sauce. Settled. As we travel further dowstream, the sun makes the calmer waters shimmering glimmer that I was pretty awed by the whole sight. The cloudless sky meeting the Fall-approacing hilly peaks, down to the clear water in the sun, plus the warm sun and cool air, but almost freezing waters. haha.

Driving northeast to the campsite, Camp Lotus. Bright and early, left the house at 6am.








Packing up the raft, at around 3pm





We fell asleep almost immediately upon reaching home.

~~~~~

On Sunday evening 5 plus, we met for tennis! Crazy us, but it was a before-school-starts thing for the Berkeley people, but ermm.. I don't suspect this will end when school begins for them? haha. We played till the sun sets and the cold wind blows, when everyone was rosy-cheeked and tired out. I'm not especially good at tennis, but it's picking up, I guess. =)

Haoren and Xiaotian playing tennis while the sun sets beautifully behind.

I know, you're thinking this doesn't even remotely sound like SEP. It's because you misunderstood what SEP stands for.

You see, SEP = Student Exercise Program.

I suspect this entry will be full of pictures, of an almost blow by blow account of my trip into San Francisco. Currently sitting in the Transit Lounge in Taipei, Chiang Kai Shek International Airport, gleefully hoping to be connected to the world wide web, but to much disappointment, it detects a wireless connection but yet, I was directed to this paysite.

So oh well, I have 4 hours to kill, so I thought it would be good to start writing on good old Word. While listening to Corrinne May (thanks Jo!!!).

Plus I love Taiwan, it has this almost familiar feel to... could be because this is my 5th time in this airport. Or maybe because I find it awfully convenient that I can speak Chinese. And oh, Jolene would like to hear this, I got quite a kick by walking into a duty-free shop (with no intention of buying anything of course) just to hear the Taiwanese say “欢迎光临!” haha, cheap thrill! But yeah, miss the distinct Taiwanese friendliness.

Ok, interesting, I was interrupted by this American sitting across from me in the café where I'm sitting, asking me if I have a connection.

Him: “Are you online?”
Me: “No, sadly, there isn't a connection here.”
Him: “Yeah, well, it's been two days. I'm dying, man. Tokyo has an internet café, but Osaka, none to speak of...”

Talk about internet addiction. The way he says it, it could have sounded like drugs!

Shit, this is a bad place to be sitting, since I'm just in front of this 牛肉面 store, smelling the tantalizing smell that seems to come right from the hot steaming noodles. Well, it’s 2.30pm so I do deserve a right to feel hungry... haha, just prolonging the process, by eating later so that I won't have to go 3 hours after the meal doing nothing.

Damn I'm a constant digression. I was supposed to talk about the food trip.

Despite the almost unearthly hours of my flight and the shackles of school, I'm really grateful to see that some friends came to see me off. Jeffrey (snowboarding time!), Julian (with weird logic on waking hours), Dirong (whom I'm going to see on 1 Sept anyway), Kuangmeng (who didn't do the dramatic running that everyone was expecting), Wan Ling (who managed to wake up! Thanks gal J), Desiree (who didn’t sleep in fear of not being able to wake up.. thanks my friend...), Shilin (I’ll try to keep in the correct shape... haha..) and of course Chelsea (thanks dear, for being brave and not shedding tears...). My family was there less Kathleen who had school, and I'm glad it wasn't as teary as Jolene's departure half a year back. I somewhat even think people are glad to see me go (could feel my eyelid twitching there).

"I feel like a little girl boy, trying to conquer the whole wide world”
- Listening: Corrinne May's Little Superhero Girl

For all the flights I've ever taken, I've never had to board a plane from Terminal 1 and having the plane travel over the overhead bridge overlooking the road into Changi Airport and then taking off on the strip in Terminal 2. Power view! Could see all the cars below me! Plus seeing a plane land just in front me, before my plane turns onto the same strip and take off. For the moment, I really appreciated the people who coordinated the flight timings and taking off timings etc.

Flight was pretty uneventful. Besides watching Monster-in-law (though I must say I was more impressed by Jane Fonda than Jennifer Lopez) and nodding off to sleep for a while, it was pretty smooth. The strange thing was that I feel perfectly calm, almost as if I fly everyday. Pays to be a bit heartless. *laughs*

Clouds are amazing things. Especially when you fly above them. They seemed to have this form about them, not unlike the mountains and valleys on earth. And suddenly the world is nothing but the whites of the cloud-mountains and the blue of the sky...

...and erm, the wings of the areoplane.

Arrived in a Taipei with gloomy skies, and walking around with a big backpack. After smsing home and Chelsea, I went to the transit security point. An interesting scene at the security point was this guy who couldn't go through the metal detector because he has a pacemaker in his heart which would probably be affected by the detector, so he was body searched with hands, rather uncomfortably by the female security officer there. Got to where I am as described in the beginning of the entry. A sudden urge of Singaporean patriotism made me take this photo.

And very much the Singaporean me, this is a moment of racial harmony. One Asian minute by Kenneth. Which really wasn't very nice in the end because everyone else was staring.

With that, I'm feeling rather sleepy and hungry. And surprisingly, time goes pretty fast =)












Next entry: San Francisco.

And here you are. Reading my last entry written on this lovely sunny island before I come back home on New Year's Eve.

I'm feeling all jittery, a bit nervous, and really not fantastically excited. Still trying to pack lighter, though the luggage's not overweight. And coming to think of it, it'll be my first time I take a flight alone.

For those that had given me best wishes, I'm eternally grateful. Thank you =)

And to everyone and everyone. Take lots and lots of care.

"...could have sent these words far more efficiently through e-mail than through this 'snail mail'. But I am among those who still believe that sympathy is diluted by two-thirds when it arrives over the Internet transom."

Indeed.

And how apt. That as Glenn has said, we really can't live without the modern technology, that truly displaces world distances and natural/ political/ societal/ and-what-have-you barriers. And for now, I will have to be thankful that I can still use MSN and Skype to keep in touch with loved ones.

And oh buddy Tinkie, I hope you don't mind emails =) Feelings shall not be diluted!

Packing is one of those things that, can never seemed to be done even till the last minute. There ALWAYS seems to be more to bring.

With my accomodation not confirmed yet, modules not registered (unable to because I do not fulfil their prerequistics) and travel plans sketchy (roughly here and there, but tickets not booked at all except my flight into USA), it really doesn't seemed that I'm flying in 3 days' time.

So I thought, it is better to get packing first, so that at least I do not procrastinate on that.

In order to enforce strict discipline, I've decided to dump everything that I could possibly need onto my bed, with the intention that I would not get to sleep unless I'm done packing.

A-folding of clothes I began! The the result is a neat pile of stuff at the other side of my room.







I had wanted to travel light, with a small luggage and my bagpack, but after a while, I opted for a larger suitcase (albeit a bit empty), so that I can bring gifts back and need not squeeze so hard. With the backpack of course, I can't imagine travelling anyway without a backpack.

Stationery/ school related packing starts after that. With my trusty Pandy supervising me.









The room is in quite a mess, but I'm glad I got the basic stuff into the luggage and backpack. Now what's left is the thinking and rethinking on what's been missed out.

Like I always say, I'll be glad to carry a 15kg luggage filled with money instead. That would make things hellalot simpler. I would just buy everything.

(L to R) Me, Michael, Jeffrey, Haoyong, Dirong
(below Lto R) Xiaotian, Eugene, Kuang Meng

Friday had been a particularly good day, somehow I managed to meet a lot of friends that mattered in my life. And I suspect, this shall be the very first, but the most important, of my thanks.

My gang from RI 4C. Classmates, buddies, brothers. I never thought I would go so far down the roads with 7 other guys. From the truly hilarious to the darkest secrets, we have had the whole specturm of memories. Unfaltering, as worthy friends, you have all been, for the past 8 years. A relationship that even time has problem eroding away. Girlfriends get envious.

It is most heartening thing for me to know, that there are people to fall back on, for almost anything at all. People that I can approach without shame nor guilt, without caring for self-pride, without a mask, should I fall.

Thank you.

Bright and early I rose, almost eager to go to school;
For perhaps the last time, in the next 5 months to come.
Trodded the path so often done,
Up to Arts canteen.
Heaven, Earth and Hell.

Despite the sweltering heat and breezeless day,
A fuzzy warmth lingers in my heart.
Not of heat but of memories,
Of friendship and the many lunches,
and the light that shines through too.

I sat down with my soy bean milk,
revishing the moment.
Familiar faces dotted the place,
the usual 8am crowd.
Just let me linger, a little longer here with you.

"...Mm-Mm it’s such a perfect night
Mm-Mm It doesn’t seen quite right
Mm-Mm That it’s my last night here with you..."

"Grace was in all her steps,
Heaven in her eye,
In every gesture,
Dignity and love."

And there she has been,
Returned to the Lord since 1999.
A girl of vibrant youth,
consumed by the heartless waters
But in Ubin, the pain will stay.

But here in my heart,
The pain lingers,
The loss felt.
And I couldn't even remember,
The last night there with you

And how I fear,
That as I grow old and older,
That I might remember less and lesser
Of the lovely girl in Nanyang uniform,
Black specs and pinned up hair.

Took a walk down memory lane I did.
And before I leave Mandai,
I thanked her for having touched my life so.
And I'm sure,
I've got a blessing in return.

"...Mm-Mm and come September
Mm-Mm We’ll all remember
Mm-Mm Our lasting friendship true and strong.."

A lunch with beloved Xynath!
Gene, Wan Ling and Jerald too.
Tea with Shilin, many stories shared.
Do this all again we will!
When December ends.

"...Mm-Mm and as the years go by
Mm-Mm I'll think of you and sigh
Mm-Mm This is goodnight and not good bye..."

And what an AGM it was!
The completion of a cycle.
The new steps up, the old steps back.
But we shared many a moment,
That will last till the end.

As I bid "goodnight"s
and said "take care"s
I stood still, and lingered there.
Goodnight is not forever goodbye
I'll still go back, to the range sometime.

See you there.

"...Mm-Mm I want to linger here
Mm-Mm a little longer here
Mm-Mm a little longer here with you..."

Life. Gets more real when you come into contact with people, listen to conversations, and well, read less fairytales. I know I contradict myself sometimes, either that or I'm still sitting on the fence, trying to find a nice balance between fairytales and the somewhat harsher reality. Greedy I am, trying to believe in the first, but yet be prepared for the latter.

I've not written for some days, so here are some instances that struck me.

~~~~~

At Contact 2005, where the freshmen going to US universities come together to know each other better. A game, needing the whole group to present their ideas on a sheet of mahjong paper.

Guy J: Hey Girl E! You write la! Girls' handwriting confirm better than mine lor!
Very convenient, since Girl E was the only girl in the group. PLUS she's especially good looking. But overall, a failed attempt at buaya-ing
Girl E: *laughs* You see, we type more than we write these days.
Ouch. A slap right onto Guy J's face. Well done.

PS. I type better than I write too. Especially since I can download fonts. Hmm. But hey, don't stereotype =)

~~~~~

Still at Contact 2005, talking about their greatest accomplishments. (Not entirely true.. well, laugh along!)

A: Well, I AM a President Scholar, you know.
B: I represented Singapore in Maths competitions.
C: I made it to Stanford!
D: I can dance any sort of dance.
E: I'm still a virgin.
All: ... ...

Well, what really matters these days? *laughs*

~~~~~

I remembered clearly, during Bintan, when Adnan mentioned about "marriage of convenience". That people got married because the time was right, because the income was there, because the partner is there, because the house is ready. How skeptical and unromantic, but yet, not entirely false.

On Friday, I drove my father and his friend (Uncle Tham) down to another of his friend's workshop, where they decided to car-pool and drive up together to Malaysia for a golf game. As I drove carefully on the rain-laden roads, I listened with interest (not often does this happen, you see) on the conversation carried out. Real life kinda conversations.

Dad: You know, XYZ Company is turning its engineering resources global, so either Mr E or Mr H would have to go soon.
Uncle Tham: Yah, I heard, it is so silly. How can one angmoh handle a worldwide transaction? I bet you, soon he'll get them both back on the team.
Dad: Mr E is fine, he's about our age isn't he? His kids are mostly grown up, only 1 left in JC I believe.
Uncle Tham: True, H is worse off, he's so young, only late-thirties? All his kids are in school.
Dad: E can probably retire. Who will employ people at our age?
Uncle Tham: But that's besides the point isn't it? Once you are able to see your kids through school, you can consider your job done, and take a step back.
Dad: But people like us can't live very much longer without things to do.

Perhaps what struck me was the part (not here) where they discussed timings and such. Like at 30, you should be doing what what, at 35, what else, 40, yes this and that... Life is so.. ordered? And sometimes, we talk about life to be free and to live life to the fullest, I really wonder how much of this talk can be fulfilled. Commitments tie us down, and it's something we can't just chuck aside.

Somthing I heard from Meiru's Dance teacher. “自我”与“忠孝”不能双有。You can't be selfish and loyal/ filial at the same time, or can you?

But strange, when we talk about living our lives out, it sometimes imply seeing children through schools and feeding families. And all the wild dreams of adventures, really, have to be put aside while we carried out our obligations, which could be never-ending. So whatever happened to all the "live free" and "live your life the way you want it" slogans?

Life of convenience? Or, haha, life of INconvenience?

~~~~~

For those who just turned 21 and eagerly awaiting the elections to show your proud step into adulthood as you drop that vote into the boxes of destiny, I know disappointment has swept you away.

But never fear, you can still vote here at Sintercom!

~~~~~

A post Charlie and the Chocolate Factory kinda connversation.

Chelsea: Do you feel like a man now?
Me: No, I don't.
Chelsea: And when will you feel "man" enough?
Me: Maybe I will when I start to have my own steady income, look after myself and have my own family
Chelsea: When did you stop feeling like a boy?
Me: I think, somewhere at Sec 3, I stopped being a boy and became a young adult. All the responsibilities and stress and what not. I somehow skipped the "teenager" phase. And now, I'm a very old young adult.

~~~~~

On fireworks

Ben: Think I'm going to be late. You can't believe how crowded town is! I've moved a record of 50cm in 5 minutes.
Me: Because of the fireworks?
Ben: Yah man. Why can't they just used up all the fireworks on National Day?
Me: They can't, else no one will be able to get home on National Day. Human flow of 1 cm per minute.

~~~~~

I've just gotten the nicest gift from Archery, and it comes in a form of a T-shirt with scribbled words on it. PLUS my Chinese name boldly inprinted at the bottom left, easily the nicest I've ever seen my Chinese name written. The rest of the wordings? Well, as much of it was rubbish as it was heartfelt. =)

But this is what makes us unique isn't it?

It's all Shi Ling's fault.

Thanks fellas =)

Thursday 11 August 2005

1000hrs
Woke up. Reluctantly of course.

1100hrs
"I want a Felix Felicis potion too!"
(ie, reading Harry Potter. Yah, I know. So 16-July.)

1111hrs
The call.
Worried, sighing, tired and "whyisthishappeningagain"s.
Lungs shrink, breathing difficulty begins. Somehow, air was cold too.

1300hrs
Rushed out of home.
Found out that Jolene is going to exercise.
It began to rain. Strange, considering that it was all sunny in the morning.
See the link? It always happens! Jolene is the weather-guru.

1315hrs
I think my ears are too small. Either that, or Creative earphones are too big. I have problems making them stay in my ears comfortably.
Or is it just me?

1349hrs
Saw this cuteeeee boy on the way from North-South line Dhoby Ghaut to the NEL. Yellow raincoat with a hood, yellow bear bag, and light yellow shoes!
Sorry I had to take a picture with my handy phone, since my camera has decided to die on me.
And yah, that's what I was going to HarbourFront for, to Canon Repair Centre I go!




1350hrs
My obsessions with cute kids just began! Remembered seeing this pic online and decided to post it here as well.
Happy Birthday Singapore. =)

1405hrs
Reached HarbourFront flustered. Forgot to check out exact address of Canon Centre, since I thought I was so good at remembering at a glance off the screen 2 nights ago.
Apparently not.
Plus heartbeat was still pumping at a unhealthy rate, topped with cold lungs failing to take in more air to accomodate my sighing.
s o m e t i m e s I j u s t c an n o t p r e t e n d t o b e i n t e r e s t e d .

1410hrs
Sorry to Chelsea.
Thanks to Chelsea, got the address (after walking around HabourFront Towers. Trying to act smart again.) found out it is KEPPEL BAY TOWERS.
Argh.
Grabbed lunch.

1515hrs
Finally reached my queue number. Sent my camera for a $100+ repair. Trading-in didn't seem too viable, since I might as well get another new camera at Sim Lim, way cheaper than the retail price here.
Customer Service Officer wasn't really professional. Kept giving me the "I'm tired cos I'm so busy" look. Not so good.

1533hrs
THE call (unrelated to the 1st "The call")
Jiankai took over the phone, making me guess who he is with "I'm your primary school classmate, now in NUS doing same econs major as you". Damn. I had the impression of Junliang in my head.. till I put down the phone. so embarrassing.
Jealousy mixed with envy. Why do you feel jealous at all? Because you care.. too much?
And maybe, you feel, you thought, you were once more special.. and now, you're not so. Not the most special. Fallen from grace, the grace that probably wasn't even there. Self- delusion
The sinking-of-the-heart feeling.
Lungs felt colder, tighter.
A moment of Jeff Chang on my MP3 player brought a moment of inner harmony.


1545hrs
Got my air tickets finally! From Ik Chin People's Park. Onwards USA!

1630hrs
Finally rushed down to NUS.
Archery Intro course! It's great to do all these teaching again, spreading the goodwill of the sport.
Gloomy skies, burst balloons, old friends, dinner ar Clementi.


2000hrs
Met Jiankai and caught up a bit.
Probably over-sensitive, observed the more playful gestures and more friendly conversations.
Pained.
And why, why do we over-react sometimes, why are we over-sensitive sometimes?

2100hrs
Dinner with Chelsea at Sakae Sushi, Bugis.

2330hrs
Caught a glimpse of "绝对Superstar". Not much of a follower, but the cute Derrick is out, to Kathleen's dismay.
Kelvin (the blind contestant) is still in, but I suspect his journey is up. This world is not fair, even if he was really good, do you think Singapore would dare present him as "Singapore's Superstar"? If so, If looks didn't matter and if "Superstars" weren't meant to be flawless, Olinda would have made it to the finals of Singapore Idol with Taufik, rightfully.

2400hrs
More Jeff Chang before I sleep.

It's exhausting writing deep stuff, takes a lot out of me, so occassionally I do post silly stuff.

But this, oh-my-goodness, this, is not meant for any Tom, Dick and Harry, mind you.

*serious look*

Statistics have shown, indeed, that the phrase "any Tom, Dick and Harry" has proved to be quite detrimental to the three names. My charts will show later on, the proof.

With thanks to Mr Brown (whom I found the link from), you can check out this website called NameVoyager. Type in your name and see how popular (or unpopular) it was over the decades.

I understand that Huiting is looking for a English name. Well, nice place to start!

Anyway, back to topic.

As we can see, "Tom" as fallen sharply over the decades. It was the 46th most favourite name in the 1880s, but in 2004, it's not even in the top 1000.
Now when I think of Tom, I only remember Tom and Jerry the cartoon. And everyone loves Jerry, of course.








"Dick" was really popular in the 1930s. About 500 out of every million babies were "Dick"s. Interesting. But by the 70s, it was out of trend.












"Harry" showed the most obvious decline in relative terms. But yet, in absolute numbers, it is still by far the most favourite of all three, still ranking 531 in 2004 with about 100 in every million babies with that name. Obviously parents didn't mind "Harry" kids.








Now that I looked back, I only knew 1 Dick and 1 Harry. And somehow both insists that they be called by their Chinese names *shrugs*

I also did a check on "Britney" and "Angelina", and it's amazing to discover that "Britney" is really a 1990s sensation and the way "Angelina" shoots up in favour in the last decade will shock you. Talk about idol worship.

If I name my son "Tom", albeit out of date, will he look like Tom Cruise?

Enough rubbish. Try it now!

Sepia-tinged with melancholy

It is truly ironic, that when I started this blog, I wanted more thoughts and feelings and less events and narrations. But yet, descriptions after descriptions load the recent pages I penned on.

Perhaps. Maybe things have changed. And why not. Things change. Some don't, and be grateful for it. Yet you wish some do.

All changes are sepia-tinged with melancholy, for what we are leaving behind is part of ourselves.










Melancholy can be so beautiful. Tragic beauty. But to be able to write it all down with an heavy heart, is really putting feelings into words. To be able to feel the sediments of depression, and reflect upon things that used to pain.

And tonight, while my buddy Tinkie told me how glad she was that somethings, like our friendship, don't change; I was wondering why don't some other stuff change. Emotions. Can you hate love?

K: There was once a type of candy you loved. Craved and desired. But one day it was discovered that the candy was bad, really bad, harmful in fact. But yet you know, you can't change your love into hatred, just like that.
T: it doesn't change the fact that u used to like it.
K: What if u still like it?
T: then u have to learn to live with yourself, your choices isn't it?
T: and learning to live with the fact that you're not as perfect as you'd like yourself to be

Can you reason infatuation?

~~~~~

self-styled obligations

On the first night of Bintan, we sat by the beach and looked at stars. Looking into the unknown made us question the unknown. On life and on purpose. On regrets and on dreams.





Empty chairs..
Memories of intriguing conversations
under the Bintan stars







As much as I would like to make a name for myself, I know I am one of little ambitions. Man, being man, would love to be great. Man create dreams and goals for themselves to achieve. And isn't it strange, that such self-styled obligations are the very ones that lead to regrets? Regrets stem from discontentment, from unachieved goals.

If I had only...
forgotten future greatness
and looked at the green trees and the buildings
and reached out to those around me
and smelled the air
and ignored the many forms and self-styled obligations
and heard the rain on the window-pane
and saw the sun setting into the sea
and felt the fire warm my hands
and put my arms around those I love
... and it's not too late.

Yet I believe it's good to have goals, small short-term ones along the way, to make a life more purposeful. I never had any grand general scheme or plan for my life, maybe I just like to tag along and see what life has for me, to continue discovering. It's hard for me to even think 2 years down the road.

I really believe, that "the road is always better than the inn" (Cervantes). The greatest fun comes from the journey, because it is where we display our creative effort and live our lives. Like I know, I enjoy creating a picture from photoshop more than the posting of it online or anywhere for the world to view, and in fact, many of my "creations" had only taken up space on my hard disk. I love hiking, because of the sights and the stress I had to endure during the process.

The short-term goal achieved is like the inn, a checkpoint, a temporary resting place along the road of endless self-fulfillment, and a starting place for another new adventure.

Yet along the path to the next inn, I've always expected the best effort from myself. To go as far as possible, to excel. Well, Man are egoistic, I would love to hang a glowing resume at every inn I stopped.

Focus on the journey, have fun and be creative! And not just set your eye too firmly on the ultimate goal or the self-styled obligations. Maybe life would have less regrets.

~~~~~

To thine own self be true

And when asked what's the biggest regret in my life, I gave it a thought, and answered simply that I haven't always been true to myself.

Somehow, I've always wanted to stick to a set of unwavering principles, and sought to live an upright life. To have courage. To put in my best and to try to help, even if it means getting bullied. To serve. To be all that I could in order to live with a clear conscience; being able to lay around freely and ponder without a worry.









And sometimes I fantasized. Thinking what it would be like, to live a life like my idols 赵云 (Zhao Yun) and 郭靖 (Guo Jing), honest, upright, loyal and courageous. And I wondered if this is being true to myself even. You know the questions that follow: am I who I am, or am I trying to be someone else.

And how far can we be true to ourselves and to our set of principles?

Changes. Our image, opinions of ourselves, view of things, and even the road map of where we're going in life are never static, with everything set in motion. Everyday we must rethink who we are, and how these principles are guiding us. And how others are affected by us.

Sometimes, I found, that being true to yourself might hurt others, and thus people might avoid being totally true. And for me, the greatest flaw of mine is sometimes to be too concerned of others' opinion of me, such that it becomes an additional burden of an expectation to carry out. And worse, my own paranoid opinion of myself.

I've said things and asked questions that I now regret, for they have probably lowered my image, but yet, at that very moment when the words were spoken, weren't we all just being true?

Do not judge on the 1 wrong thing a person has done, but the 9 good ones he has done prior to this.

~~~~~

Pardon my random thoughts, and poor articulation. My ideas jumped to and fro, left and right, in english and in chinese, and it was getting increasingly difficult to note everything down.

Life is like a can of coke.
Bubbles escape, and it fizzles out.
Things fizzle out too, like passion and energy.
Like love and friendship.
But life, like coke
can still be sweet.

My second time in Zouk did not seem any better than the first. Well, at least I lasted longer inside, had a couple more drinks, and met more familiar faces.

Could still remember my first time in Zouk during army days when Pingbu brought me along. Lasted all the painful one hour before I decided to take a slow walk home. Yes, walked. Needed that much fresh air.

So this time round, I was lured by Edward's mail, though I never managed to find Edward in that sea of people inside Zouk. An event organised by the US Universities (Chicago and Pennsylvania), I thought it was going to be a good time to see friends that have disappeared to the US! And so I did, though I too realised that I was not fantastically close to them anyway.

And I too thought, it was a good time to lose myself.

Lost.

As my heartbeat thumps to the loud trance music, with a life of its own. Ironically peaceful when the eyes are closed. Imagine not needing to think and just letting your heart pound. It's good not to be in control sometimes.

Bring out the booze people!

We (Me, Jeff, Mike, Haoyong, XT, Dirong and his gf Peiyin) had supper along River Valley road. It was nice getting to know Peiyin, afterall, I always believed that it's healthy to know your buddies' gfs =)

Cab home with Mike, and actually switched on the comp to listen to some music. Proper music with lyrics. Aamazing to find Cheowhui online, and we had a little chat. I think that was close to 5am. This is getting crazy.

~~~~~

Rag earlier on Saturday morning. Managed to take some photos before my camera went bonkers. I thought everyone improved from last year! Though the amazing thing is tht Biz Ad did not win anything! Must have been the shock of the year.

Meet the overall winner........ SCIENCE!

~~~~~

In the wise words of Jeffrey.
"Don't let it fuck you over and over again."

The Star-Gazers

On Life (a random excerpt, VERY random)

Ben: The cosmic rays.. since the beginning of time.. expanding..
Kenneth: Life is about relationships...
Zhicong: Any regrets? How to fulfill the greatness of men..
Imy: This is getting too deep
Zhicong: Let's talk about porn then
Charissa: Do guys really watch porn to...
Ben: That's the 10th shooting star tonight!
Zhantao: That's a bat la.


The Sun, the Sand and the Sea

On Illumination

rays breaking through.
Time to soak up the sun!

Looking through a glass, darkly

The world, through my sunglasses.

On blurry memories

A more typical Archery Conversation

Imy (raps): mm, orh, uh-huh, yooooo
Ben: Not so good. Huiting, can you bend over?
Grace: watttttt
Huiting: funny lor
Shi Ling: I'm always nice
Charissa: huh?
Nicholas: kaoz
Adnan: hi! lai lai lai...
Zhicong: Will you accept me? 我需要你的身体。
Cheow Huey (giggles): eeeee! so cute!
Zhantao: c#$% b&^ !!!!!
Kenneth: It was written in the stars...
Zhicong: oh well. Bridge?

On Fun and Laughter, Peace (?) and Joy.

For all the photos.. visit here.

The Final Chapter: On Friendship