My last night in Irvine, in the OC.

And probably my last post for some time to come.

It's paradoxical, how sometimes I missed home so much, yet knowing that I'll come to miss this place that I've stayed for the last 3 months as I leave it behind.

It's like being on the plane, midway between Singapore and California, and given a difficult choice to be the pilot. Between home and loneliness; being bonded and freedom.

All the routines that I've gotten used to, the fun grocery shoppings, the meal plannings for myself, the bus rides around the OC, and even the getting used to watching out for vehicles coming from the other direction.

Will miss the people, despite all the sometimes irritating times, there's always all the better times to be remember for. How we surprised Rudy on his 21st birthday, the movies we watched together and how we dashed from one theatre to another, how we play darts, how we hurt our butts in the snow.

Lying on my bed and wondering how it will be like to sleep on my own bed back home again.

Till the New Year then guys. =)

Laters.

# rambled by Kenneth @ 2:01 PM
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Straits Times Interactive has officially become my internet explorer homepage for some time now, keeping me aware of what else is going on in the world besides George Bush's speeches of taking responsibility for the Iraq War and Saddam's trial. That's like almost all the news you get on TV here. Help.

~~~~~~

So Dark The Con of Man

Like how cool is that, people analyzing her face? *groans* 83 per cent happy, 9 per cent disgusted, 6 per cent fearful and 2 per cent angry.

Er... so?

Anyway, this caught my eye because I just watched the trailer for The Da Vinci Code in theatres here. And I thought it is so awesome that the website is www.sodarktheconofman.com Now that's cool. I suspect this movie will be a sellout, with its fantastic cast and what a great story.

Speaking of movies, I've caught Walk the Line, Narnia and King Kong (these 3 in theatres), plus Lost in Translation (on DVD) in 3 days. King Kong is kinda draggy, but Narnia is fantastic!

~~~~~

On Elitism

I've also been following the ST Forum, surprisingly, on the issue of choosing prestigious schools, in the days of early December.

"The vast majority of children from elite schools have parents who are professionals or wealthy businessmen. They mix among themselves without knowing there is a large section of society leading a different way of life, and often there is an element of snobbishness in making it to an elite school... If her PSLE result is not a fluke, she will do well whatever school she chooses... Ten years from now, I am sure, barring any change in her character, she will do well even though she did not choose RGS"

I'm in a very mixed feeling of whether to nod or shake my head.

Skeptically, Dr Lee Wei Ling (who wrote this letter) came from Nanyang and then the old Raffles Institution (which, for those who don't know, used to be RI and RJC together), and then (to her defense) University of Singapore (now NUS) and not some prestigious overseas college. So why the heck is she saying all these?

Admittedly, the old Nanyang, old RI had people from all walks of life, from the kampongs and the not necessarily well-to-do, which is what further foster the school culture so much that it became an "elite" school, because all these different people has a common dream. And heck, it's true, how often do PSLE scores reflect your capabilities? Come on. Ideally, it does not make heck of any difference where you go.

Realistically, why a school is considered prestigious is because of the people that emerged from it. Not necessarily only about brilliance, but also about other life skills that has been infused into them through the school's culture and education. If you asked me if RI was about academics, I would have laughed and told you that it's about growing up. To that effect, I'm pretty sure that I'll be a different person would I have gone through any other school.

And now maybe onto something that has become some sorts of a regret for me. That if you ain't loaded or didn't get a scholarship, there is little way for you to get an overseas degree. Even if you did, you wouldn't have the allowance/ money to really enjoy the overseas experience. To the extreme end of realism, it is not that a degree from overseas is any harder to get (in fact, I think it's easier), but it is the fact that we/ employers are still unable to break away from the myth that an overseas degree speaks of higher value. It is the vicious cycle of the better getting better that we need to break free of.

On a side note, now Oxford University might lose their historic right to choose their undergraduates, amid government pressure to admit more students from state schools and lower social classes.

Now, that's meritocracy.

~~~~~

Not every man is a Warrior

Thanks to Mr Melvyn Tan, we have a heck of an issue with National Service all of a sudden, and even the need to rethink its scope other than the traditional military, police or civil-defence vocations or even letting each one serve according to his talents.

And all I really wanted to say is:

Come on, get a life will ya?

And my favourite quote from the forum article by Mr Jack Foo on 8 Dec:

"Everyone is good at something other than soldiering when they enlist at 18 years of age."

I'm glad many stood up in defense of NS. That it has served other purposes other than teaching us how to hold our weapon and kill, like discipline and responsibility. That it has showed us how vulnerable Singapore is. That it has instilled more loyalty in us.

Every man is a warrior, and it's not about the skills, but it is about how willing he/ she is to be able to make a little self-sacrifice to ensure a stable and peaceful country for his/ her family and countryman.

Everyone is a warrior if you have faith in the man training, fighting alongside you for the country.

~~~~~

Hmm, I think I look like Mona Lisa now. 83 per cent happy, 9 per cent disgusted, 6 per cent fearful and 2 per cent angry.

Sweet.

# rambled by Kenneth @ 1:41 AM
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I am seriously in love with snowboarding.

And hiking through the national parks of California.

~~~~~

On Monday noon, my 2 other roommates (Luo on left, Geoffrey on right) and I got ready to join those who signed up for the trip, organised by my housing as a post-exam activity.

Sleeping bags, gloves, snowboards, thick clothings all started to load onto the bus, as everyone gets set for colder weather in the city of Big Bear, California.

The journey there was straight-forward, but what a sight as we drove through the mountains of California!

We arrived at our lodge (Singing Pines Lodge) after 2 hours on the bus, and I must say I was pleasantly surprised by the lodge. It has this rustic feel to it, with a fireplace, wooden everything, but yet it is modern with lightings and stuff. Sitting peacefully amongst the trees with only a road leading up to it, it really looked like a perfect getaway!

Singing Pines Lodge
A really cool lodge in the midst of Big Bear City

The lovely view of the lake, and the mountains

~~~~~

Now for the main part of the trip! Snowboarding! I'm pretty excited about it, being a first-timer, especially since I heard so much about the sport! And renting the cool equipment just makes you feel so pro! Even having to slip our feet into the hard snowboard boots (worse than NEW army boots) and looking totally new to the sport, we're ready to hit the slopes!

After a couple of falls, total flip-overs, butt pains, I can feel myself getting the hang of this snowboarding business. I think I was amongst the best first-timer that day! *beams* But we have some real snowboard lovers out there with their own equipment and stuff. After 3 times at the beginner's slope, I was ready to hit the "real" stuff!

Yes it reads "This is NOT a Beginner Lift". *grin*

I love the feeling of going down the slope fast and feeling the wind in your hair (especially now that I have slightly longer hair than usual) and seeing the beautiful scenery ahead of you, of the lake and the mountains. Learning how to conquer the equipment, braking when needed, and switching direction when coming to an edge. The feeling of control is really indescrible, so is the feeling of falling down. There was once I sped so fast, and when I lost control, I turned head over heels flat into the snow, with a couple of rolls. It must have been really spectacular, because people up there in the lifts shouted down at me and asked if I'm alright, and even the staff that snowboarded up and down regularly stopped to ask if I'm ok, because I flipped and landed on my head. Ouch, but it was a lesson learnt =p never try to catch up with the pros. haha.

But snowboarding is tiring business, and sometimes I fall purposely so that I can sit down in thre artificial snow and rest. Enjoying the view ahead, and then getting up again for the that indescrible feeling of charging downhill on nothing but a piece of board.

Tetsu, me and Geoffrey

We ended the day at 4pm, because it is getting dark and the lifts closed at 4.30pm. I could do this all winter, telling everyone who cared to listen. haha. It is really great fun, despite all the aches we start to feel in our shoulders and butts, and the tiredness in our knees and thighs.

Everyone was so tired that we fell asleep pretty fast in the night. Luo, Geoffrey and I even caught a movie that night because movies are 5USD on Tuesdays! We wanted to catch "Narnia", but it was sold out by the time we get theree after dinner, so we settled for "Walk the Line" (which actually is the only other show showing in the small theatre in this small city), which is a really good show as well!

~~~~~

The next morning, I woke up way earlier than anyone in the lodge at around 7.15am, packed a sandwich and went on my way with my water bag, determined to have some sort of a hike through the national parks of San Bernardino across the lake from where we are. Went alone, because I'm pretty sure no one is really interested in hiking, especially after a day of snowboarding.

I was not to be disappointed with the walk and the scenery that captured me so.

For 3-4 hours, I walked on and on, soaking in the scenery and the fresh air, always checking the time and telling myself that there is time to just go forth a bit more before turning back. I had to cross the lake to the north side of the lake (all the snow activities and happening stuff are on the south side of the lake), crossing the dam and exploring the well-established trails like the Alpine Pedal Path, Woodland Trail and Marsh Broadwalk. I had really wanted to go up the Cougar Trail to meet the Pacific Crest Trail (famous trail on top of the Californian peaks), but there wasn't enough time as we had to get back to the lodge by 12 to head back to school.

I covered a few trails and explored the area, not even remembering the ache in my shoulders and lower back from the snowboarding the day before. The view is just so magnificant! Lookin at the snow-capped mountains where we snowboarded yesterday, to the ducks that swim so close to me from the lake.

Me on one of the trails, with the sun, mountain and lake behind me

I really did not feel like walking back to the lodge, but just indulging in the nature all around me.

After packing up and stuff, we headed back to school, with the only eventful thing happening was that our bus brakes burned out and we had to wait 20 minutes for it to cool down again. But besides that, mostly sleep conquered us during the 2-hr drive.

And did I mention butt aches? and shoulder pains? Ouch, I can still feel them now.. it has prevented me from sitting in one position for extended period of time.

But hey, I still love snowboarding. If only I can do it all winter.

# rambled by Kenneth @ 1:53 PM
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And with the end of the exams (*gasp* like 6 hours ago!), so begins SEP Part 3!!!

Laying out the program of SEP Part 3:

• Dec 11: Disneyland!
• Dec 12 - 14: Big Bear Trip (Snowboarding!)
• Dec 19: Leave for San Francisco
• Dec 20: Arrival of Jeffrey
• Dec 21: Boston
• Dec 23: New York
• Dec 30: Homebound
• Dec 31: Home Sweet Home

# rambled by Kenneth @ 2:09 PM
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Is it a big problem
when one day you try to find, and try to think.
but yet unable to think of what you really enjoy doing anymore?

# rambled by Kenneth @ 2:13 AM
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The days are short and the nights long.

You start to notice how dark it really gets here, in this spaced out, unlit city, with few people on the streets. And it gets dark by 5pm. The nights seemed to go on forever.

I even wake up early in order not to miss precious daylight, and sleep early to avoid the endless nights.

The dark nights depressed me. Worries me. Compound me with all the other stress I can usually supress - work, school plans, travel plans, money, homesickness

and loneliness.

Darkness further emphasize your solitude, as you see less around, and start to feel more alone. It is as if the darkness brings out all these tiny darknesses in me, and turn it into one perpetual, long sigh that comes with every deep breath. every.deep.breath.

And to think I always thought myself as a good loner, one who is able to travel alone, live alone, be alone and enjoy doing things alone, for long periods of time. But I guess it has also let me learn the most frightening thing of all.

That the worst thing that a loner can ever feel.
Is to feel lonely.

# rambled by Kenneth @ 12:51 PM
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