Thursday, June 30, 2005
roti family
Once upon a time, in a funky city called Singapore, a mere red dot on the map, an adventure has began for a boy.
His family name was Roti, and thus popularly called Rotiboy.
Like all good parents, they got worried for this little boy who has left home to see the world. His father, PappaRoti, could not hide his anxiety anymore and came to town in search for his little boy.
The charms must have run in the family, because PappaRoti was also well received by Singaporeans. surrounded by both aunties and nubile young things, PappaRoti seems to have forgotten his original plans to find his son. The same fame that has engulfed his son, has start to envelope him as well. He never bothered to look for his son, and these days, you can never find them besides one another. They may be near, no doubt, but each was so concerned with his own popularity that they may even have forgotten, that they were made from the same mould. that they were father and son.
Left at home with nothing but a promise from his husband, RotiMum waited for their return. Faith and trust kept her waiting, and yearning. But even faith and trust runs out sometimes. Paranoia sets in. silly thoughts of death, injuries, faithlessness of affairs all crossed her mind, sometimes all at one shot. It became so unbearable one day, that she decides to take things in her own hand.
Never underestimate the strengths of a mother! perhaps the only true real superhero in all families. (and let's toast to all mothers. thanks mum, for without you, the house will never be a home)
So in the strange land of Singapore she set her feet, all ready for a hunt, and even a battle, should she find out that her family has fallen in the traps of lust. But strangely enough, she found Singaporeans warm and friendly, ready to accept her into the society. but RotiMum was more shy and had humble beginnings on our island. She saw how her son and husband has been engulfed by fame and glory, but she has patience. Setting up her humble home at Clementi, she watches over her son close by, and thought to herself, maybe the way to wake them both up is to let them taste the fall from grace.
And so she sets herself up for the competition, vying for the same attention that has been showered on her son and husband, hoping that one day, with less attention on them, they would wake up from their dreams...
To Be Continued...
Watch out for the saga of Ah-GongRoti and Roti Ah-Ma in "Roti Returns".
His family name was Roti, and thus popularly called Rotiboy.
Singaporeans adore him fast, just like how we love our food, and his popularity soared. Quickly, his name spread throughout the island, North South East West, and he became the town's favourite boy for the moment.
Basking in all the fame and glory, he has long forgotten about home.
Like all good parents, they got worried for this little boy who has left home to see the world. His father, PappaRoti, could not hide his anxiety anymore and came to town in search for his little boy.The charms must have run in the family, because PappaRoti was also well received by Singaporeans. surrounded by both aunties and nubile young things, PappaRoti seems to have forgotten his original plans to find his son. The same fame that has engulfed his son, has start to envelope him as well. He never bothered to look for his son, and these days, you can never find them besides one another. They may be near, no doubt, but each was so concerned with his own popularity that they may even have forgotten, that they were made from the same mould. that they were father and son.
Left at home with nothing but a promise from his husband, RotiMum waited for their return. Faith and trust kept her waiting, and yearning. But even faith and trust runs out sometimes. Paranoia sets in. silly thoughts of death, injuries, faithlessness of affairs all crossed her mind, sometimes all at one shot. It became so unbearable one day, that she decides to take things in her own hand.Never underestimate the strengths of a mother! perhaps the only true real superhero in all families. (and let's toast to all mothers. thanks mum, for without you, the house will never be a home)
So in the strange land of Singapore she set her feet, all ready for a hunt, and even a battle, should she find out that her family has fallen in the traps of lust. But strangely enough, she found Singaporeans warm and friendly, ready to accept her into the society. but RotiMum was more shy and had humble beginnings on our island. She saw how her son and husband has been engulfed by fame and glory, but she has patience. Setting up her humble home at Clementi, she watches over her son close by, and thought to herself, maybe the way to wake them both up is to let them taste the fall from grace.
And so she sets herself up for the competition, vying for the same attention that has been showered on her son and husband, hoping that one day, with less attention on them, they would wake up from their dreams...
To Be Continued...
Watch out for the saga of Ah-GongRoti and Roti Ah-Ma in "Roti Returns".
Wednesday, June 29, 2005
make do. why not?
I had dinner with Jason today. and through the too-good-to-be-true porridges and xiao long baos of Crystal Jade, we chatted.
it felt, almost like a sequel to the night when Julian, June Kiat, Jason and me stayed over at Julian's. it was unplanned, but we chatted for so long, we figured it makes more sense to just stay over.
and perhaps. life is really about relationships. not just bgr, but friendships, family relations and so on. life is about relationships, because when we talk about life, we talk about our relationships with people. when we live this life, we live it for people, for ourselves maybe. people don't bond when they talk about cars or results or bows. people bond when they talk about themselves and their lives, their relationships.
people grow apart. yes. definitely. evolve into someone new, we may.
a "why not" person, is really, someone independent and always seeking new things and excitement. why not do this? why not go there? exciting, but tiring. how long, can it last?
a "make do" person, seeks stability. accomodating but unfortunately boring and even predictable. gives in often, and sometimes even not too decisive, fearing that decisions will not be a good one.
and i'm afraid, that i might have evolved into a "make do" person as time goes by. the "why not" phase has passed me by, though even now i can't remember much of it. i fear making decisions, because i fear the consequences, even if it was something as simple as displeasure from others.
it felt, almost like a sequel to the night when Julian, June Kiat, Jason and me stayed over at Julian's. it was unplanned, but we chatted for so long, we figured it makes more sense to just stay over.
and perhaps. life is really about relationships. not just bgr, but friendships, family relations and so on. life is about relationships, because when we talk about life, we talk about our relationships with people. when we live this life, we live it for people, for ourselves maybe. people don't bond when they talk about cars or results or bows. people bond when they talk about themselves and their lives, their relationships.
people grow apart. yes. definitely. evolve into someone new, we may.
a "why not" person, is really, someone independent and always seeking new things and excitement. why not do this? why not go there? exciting, but tiring. how long, can it last?
a "make do" person, seeks stability. accomodating but unfortunately boring and even predictable. gives in often, and sometimes even not too decisive, fearing that decisions will not be a good one.
and i'm afraid, that i might have evolved into a "make do" person as time goes by. the "why not" phase has passed me by, though even now i can't remember much of it. i fear making decisions, because i fear the consequences, even if it was something as simple as displeasure from others.
power too, can change a person.
sometimes, if you desire something bigger than yourself, than what you already own.
you may see what you have to be too small for you. not enough.
power corrupts. desire for power too
you are no longer who you were.
so, forgive me if i get boring at times. if i'm too predictable. sometimes, all i really enjoy, is a good book, a good drink, a good walk, a good scenery, a good chat.
Monday, June 27, 2005
Why do we fall, Sir?
So that we might better learn to pick ourselves up.
You have not given up on me yet?
"Never."
Friday, June 24, 2005
NUS Indoor 2005
Monday, June 20, 2005
beautiful monday
for some strange reason, i still set my alarm clock at 8 am this morning, probably wanting to send Chelsea to work. but somehow i know, i was never going to wake up.
and i didn't! hah. 3 days of competition totally took everything out of me.
overall, i think it was a successful competition (besides the air-con breaking down.. then again, nothing we can do about it). well done archers! great job on all the preparation =) and the shooting. and for sticking with the team when it all matters. i'm really proud of this committee *beams*
and as the sparkling juice popped and i sprayed it all over ZT (and whoever was nearby will unfortunately get it), it somehow marks the end of my term in archery. who knows, i might just have shot my last arrow for a long time to come.
it was somewhat a sad yet reflecting thought. and you start wondering, how everything will be like when the new postholders take over our posts. what will they make of us? were we good examples? it is not about the post you hold, but what you make of your post. strictly speaking, everyone has a job scope, but what you actually do is derived from your passion. going beyond the scope, or just be contented to do what is expected.
oh well. even if i'm out of the committee, i can still visit the range once in a while, and we can catch up on old times. right guys? =)
~~~~~
i think most of us will probably never think NUS as beautiful. but seriously, dawn makes a beautiful backdrop.
at 6.30am, on a saturday morning.
if you dread waking up, it's probably because dawn has past you.
~~~~~
i feel a little sad today. despite the rest i'm getting. i couldn't find the pink flower that Sharon made for me. brought it along and kept it in my pocket for the competition (and actually all other competitions and even exams) and i guess it must have been lost in all the running around and bustle.
it brought me strength at times. but more importantly, it keeps the memory alive. a part of her is still with us.
and if it was really lost, i hope somehow it gets incinerated. so that it might find its way back to her, somewhere in heaven.
and i didn't! hah. 3 days of competition totally took everything out of me.
overall, i think it was a successful competition (besides the air-con breaking down.. then again, nothing we can do about it). well done archers! great job on all the preparation =) and the shooting. and for sticking with the team when it all matters. i'm really proud of this committee *beams*
and as the sparkling juice popped and i sprayed it all over ZT (and whoever was nearby will unfortunately get it), it somehow marks the end of my term in archery. who knows, i might just have shot my last arrow for a long time to come.
it was somewhat a sad yet reflecting thought. and you start wondering, how everything will be like when the new postholders take over our posts. what will they make of us? were we good examples? it is not about the post you hold, but what you make of your post. strictly speaking, everyone has a job scope, but what you actually do is derived from your passion. going beyond the scope, or just be contented to do what is expected.
oh well. even if i'm out of the committee, i can still visit the range once in a while, and we can catch up on old times. right guys? =)
~~~~~
i think most of us will probably never think NUS as beautiful. but seriously, dawn makes a beautiful backdrop.
at 6.30am, on a saturday morning.
if you dread waking up, it's probably because dawn has past you.
~~~~~
i feel a little sad today. despite the rest i'm getting. i couldn't find the pink flower that Sharon made for me. brought it along and kept it in my pocket for the competition (and actually all other competitions and even exams) and i guess it must have been lost in all the running around and bustle.
it brought me strength at times. but more importantly, it keeps the memory alive. a part of her is still with us.
and if it was really lost, i hope somehow it gets incinerated. so that it might find its way back to her, somewhere in heaven.
Friday, June 17, 2005
winning is not everything
for those who somehow managed to read this in time:
winning is not everything.
pride and belief in your team is.
trust and mutual respect in your peers is.
if you can't have pride and belief in your team;
you never had a team.
a piece of metal
lose like a winner!
join my list!
in the depths,
at the bottom,
amongst the ranks,
of those, who disappoint
winning is not everything.
pride and belief in your team is.
trust and mutual respect in your peers is.
if you can't have pride and belief in your team;
you never had a team.
man is selfish
i know. i am too.
but man knows integrity.
and sticks by agreement and words promised.
when selfishness rules over integrity
the man. is unworthy.
clapping is done with the hands
rejoicing with the heart
who knows?
i might do one.
or neither.
a piece of metal
a thunderous applause
then go be a clown
and i'll throw you a coin.
but do know
that a life lived with integrity
even if it lacks the trappings of fame and fortune
is a shining star
in whose light, many others will follow in years to come.
a life lived for the applause
is a shooting star
but a moment of brilliance
all sound and fury
signifying nothing.
lose like a winner!
or win like a loser.
join my list!
in the depths,
at the bottom,
amongst the ranks,
of those, who disappoint
Thursday, June 16, 2005
crossed the line
with all the patience i can muster,
all the deep breaths i can suck in,
all the benefit of the doubts i have given,
i thought i was going to lose my cool today.
when patience reaps exploitation;
niceness reaps sarcasm;
delay reaps blame,
you have crossed the line
go ahead,
blame me for the bad upbringing of the pet,
which you simply throw into my arms.
i'm tired.
of accomodating;
of doing favours that does only you good;
and of pretending to believe the fable that it is best for us all.
save the pretense to yourself,
like what you do with all the credit.
us sacrificed,
for you to be hero.
~~~~~
and sometimes, it's all so easy to cross the line;
of friendship, into other realms.
by being negligent, by being too nice, by being too tactless, by being too concerned.
by doing more than you should, by doing less than you ought to.
and i'm afraid i have crossed it. and now i fear. losing that friendship.
why do i. always face this.
~~~~~
to maintain a peace of mind, i visited Sharon at Mandai Crematorium today. it's been a while, but i'm always glad to go back and see her.
has it been 6 years? since she was last with us? 6 years? since she left us?
sometimes i fear so much. fear losing that memory of her. of how she looks like, of the times the OG spent together, of the songs she sang, of the flowers she folded. of her.
and of all the moody minds, i found peace in the meomory of her, in the gloomy skies of Mandai.
and i took a slow drive down Mandai road, almost hoping to see some scouts hiking down the wretched road. such nostalgia. no scouts, but yet memories aplenty.
how i miss those days.
all the deep breaths i can suck in,
all the benefit of the doubts i have given,
i thought i was going to lose my cool today.
when patience reaps exploitation;
niceness reaps sarcasm;
delay reaps blame,
you have crossed the line
go ahead,
blame me for the bad upbringing of the pet,
which you simply throw into my arms.
i'm tired.
of accomodating;
of doing favours that does only you good;
and of pretending to believe the fable that it is best for us all.
save the pretense to yourself,
like what you do with all the credit.
us sacrificed,
for you to be hero.
~~~~~
and sometimes, it's all so easy to cross the line;
of friendship, into other realms.
by being negligent, by being too nice, by being too tactless, by being too concerned.
by doing more than you should, by doing less than you ought to.
and i'm afraid i have crossed it. and now i fear. losing that friendship.
why do i. always face this.
~~~~~
to maintain a peace of mind, i visited Sharon at Mandai Crematorium today. it's been a while, but i'm always glad to go back and see her.
has it been 6 years? since she was last with us? 6 years? since she left us?
sometimes i fear so much. fear losing that memory of her. of how she looks like, of the times the OG spent together, of the songs she sang, of the flowers she folded. of her.
and of all the moody minds, i found peace in the meomory of her, in the gloomy skies of Mandai.
Tranquillity in the moment.
and i took a slow drive down Mandai road, almost hoping to see some scouts hiking down the wretched road. such nostalgia. no scouts, but yet memories aplenty.
how i miss those days.
Monday, June 13, 2005
the bladder-hood
Click play to view.. need Quicktime..
*grin* thought this was really funny, so decided to share with my readers! sorry if it was too crude for your taste, take it with a lil' light-heartedness! and laugh the day's trouble away =)
of course, i don't usually write stuff that has no link to what has happened to me. so i shall elaborate on my very own "bladderhood". a bladderhood, broadly defined, is a group of friends who found brotherhood in the confined conditions of the toilet. not unlike the 桃园三结义, we swore to protect the inner circle of trust.... and to go to toilet together.
hah! just for laughs. =) but this goes to show how much fun we had at Xiaotian's brother's wedding on Saturday night. Really had to thank Xiaotian for inviting us over, and even staying over at Sheraton Towers Hotel for the night. =) and to rest of my 4C brothers! suave Eugene, toufu liver Jeff, secretive Haoyong, steady Kuang Meng, attached Dirong.
of course, which stayover allows sleeping by midnight? the night is still young!
so.. we went over to dbl O for some clubbing actions. i think we might seem a bit over-dressed, with long sleeved shirts and pants and all (sure looks a bit like prom night if you ask me), but hey, doesn't it also exude this suave, intelligent look? *laughs*
anyway, my clubbing experience could probably be counted using 1 single hand, but i was in no doubt that day that clubs were an extension of sign languages school. serious. where else can you find everyone doing the same physical actions to the song like some well-coordinated orchestra? (for the clubbers, think Y.M.C.A and square room) oh wait, that was called dancing? gosh. or erm, was it called "self"-expression? haha, maybe i'm still too serious (or too old?) for this, but yeah, i really do see people loosening up, letting go, and just moving to the groove.
ah, but it's a joy to just watch people. esp when a familiar song comes on, really, the coordination would have put footdrill to shame =)
feeling out of element, 5 of us decided to just go to the bar and chill out with a drink, leaving the (changed) Dirong rocking on the dance floor with his army mates. i think this is the part i enjoyed more, just chatting and catching up and laughing.
just before the lights come on in dbl O, we left the place, taking a cab back to the hotel. goodness know what time we chatted till, but male bonding rocks. hmm, till i got kicked off the bed by Xiaotian and ended up sleeping on the floor. freaking cold.
we were supposed to wake up at 8 for soccer! but well, we all overslept.. haha.. expectedly.
*grin* thought this was really funny, so decided to share with my readers! sorry if it was too crude for your taste, take it with a lil' light-heartedness! and laugh the day's trouble away =)
of course, i don't usually write stuff that has no link to what has happened to me. so i shall elaborate on my very own "bladderhood". a bladderhood, broadly defined, is a group of friends who found brotherhood in the confined conditions of the toilet. not unlike the 桃园三结义, we swore to protect the inner circle of trust.... and to go to toilet together.
the toilet!
where secrets are shared
gossips exchanged
friendship strengthened.
hah! just for laughs. =) but this goes to show how much fun we had at Xiaotian's brother's wedding on Saturday night. Really had to thank Xiaotian for inviting us over, and even staying over at Sheraton Towers Hotel for the night. =) and to rest of my 4C brothers! suave Eugene, toufu liver Jeff, secretive Haoyong, steady Kuang Meng, attached Dirong.
of course, which stayover allows sleeping by midnight? the night is still young!
so.. we went over to dbl O for some clubbing actions. i think we might seem a bit over-dressed, with long sleeved shirts and pants and all (sure looks a bit like prom night if you ask me), but hey, doesn't it also exude this suave, intelligent look? *laughs*
anyway, my clubbing experience could probably be counted using 1 single hand, but i was in no doubt that day that clubs were an extension of sign languages school. serious. where else can you find everyone doing the same physical actions to the song like some well-coordinated orchestra? (for the clubbers, think Y.M.C.A and square room) oh wait, that was called dancing? gosh. or erm, was it called "self"-expression? haha, maybe i'm still too serious (or too old?) for this, but yeah, i really do see people loosening up, letting go, and just moving to the groove.
p.s. just to add a little unknown fact about Kenneth. somewhere in my JC life, i believe it was prom night (see how much i wanted this memory erased.. haha), i was (nominated) on stage vying for Dance King with 2 other people. i think i looked more like a background dancer. *laughs* funk dances type of dance just isn't suitable for competing. hmm. shall shut up before Wan Ling starts to tell of the day i danced on the bartop..
ah, but it's a joy to just watch people. esp when a familiar song comes on, really, the coordination would have put footdrill to shame =)
feeling out of element, 5 of us decided to just go to the bar and chill out with a drink, leaving the (changed) Dirong rocking on the dance floor with his army mates. i think this is the part i enjoyed more, just chatting and catching up and laughing.
just before the lights come on in dbl O, we left the place, taking a cab back to the hotel. goodness know what time we chatted till, but male bonding rocks. hmm, till i got kicked off the bed by Xiaotian and ended up sleeping on the floor. freaking cold.
we were supposed to wake up at 8 for soccer! but well, we all overslept.. haha.. expectedly.
cos qiongz tagged me
Things you enjoy, even when no one around you wants to go out and play. What lowers your stress/blood pressure/anxiety level? Make a list, post it to your journal... and then tag 5 friends and ask them to post it to theirs.
1) before a nervous breakdown, i would like to be able to reach my 周华建(Emil Chou) CD. 张信哲 will do fine too =)
2) suck on a Hacks lemon sweet. it's called transfering of stress to a damn sweet and swallow it down.
3) reading/ watching 金庸。 shows or books will do fine. highly addictive.
4) fooling around with photoshop (recent addiction), goes well with nice songs in the background.
5) trekking to some unknown reservoir spot, through forests and swamps, and eventually stoning by the waterside. Singapore can be beautiful too. Life too.
haha. ok, could probably list more.. well.. now tagging.. hmm, since i've really no idea who will do it, do it if you want to! =) (and let me know so i can take a look at what you wrote!)
1) before a nervous breakdown, i would like to be able to reach my 周华建(Emil Chou) CD. 张信哲 will do fine too =)
2) suck on a Hacks lemon sweet. it's called transfering of stress to a damn sweet and swallow it down.
3) reading/ watching 金庸。 shows or books will do fine. highly addictive.
4) fooling around with photoshop (recent addiction), goes well with nice songs in the background.
5) trekking to some unknown reservoir spot, through forests and swamps, and eventually stoning by the waterside. Singapore can be beautiful too. Life too.
haha. ok, could probably list more.. well.. now tagging.. hmm, since i've really no idea who will do it, do it if you want to! =) (and let me know so i can take a look at what you wrote!)
Tuesday, June 07, 2005
the events of 6 june
WARNING: this entry is written after a frenzied emotional surge in photo taking and image editing. words might seem silly. ignore if incomprehenable. pictures are fun.
~~~~~
expectally, soccer was good on Sunday, for pictures, you can refer here.
unfortunately:
1) the ball somehow got kicked really high onto one of the horizontal pillars and stayed there. (like whats the freaking probability?)
2) my team was behind 4-3 at that moment. Victor, who kicked it up there, happened to be from the other team. speak about sportsmanship.
3) i injured my toe and my soccer boots are dying (hint hint)
fortunately:
1) the person who kicked the ball up happens to be the owner of the ball
2) no windows were broken in RI
shopping with Chelsea after that for Yueping's archery-shared present proved to be.. erm.. interesting. Visited the book fair while we were at it. it has further proven my theory on my style of shopping. after seeing an item that i really need/ want (which isn't many i can tell you), and if the price seems like a bargain to me, i would be VERY tempted to buy it. however, i was pursuaded to look around first for even better bargains, if not we can go back there again. ah, this is where Kenneth's logic comes in. most of the time, i may not see a better bargain, or am too lazy to go back to the first shop, or my interest for the object would have fallen, and i would not buy after i leave that shop behind me. the stupid thing is that i'll probably need that thing soon (ok, to avoid confusion, it's glossy photopaper we're taking about), so i'll find myself going out to get it again. argh. so i've always practised the superb intuitive buying, which, in my opinion, is highly efficient.
~~~~~
6 june also happens to be Jolene's and Gerald first year together! yeah! happy first anniversary! since they are half a globe physically apart now, i've helped Jolene create the picture below (steps as indicated.. shall not elaborate) using photoshop. it was great fun. haha. i think i should try to create neocards as a living. *grin*
fooling around with photoshop (click to enlarge)
~~~~~
and it also happens to be Huayang's birthday! a few of us met up for dinner at Kenny Rogers, afterwhich we spent post-dinner coffee at TCC .
~~~~~
training was good today, hit a personal best and both rounds above 240! woah!
i really liked the song "Security" by Joss Stone as of late, so i started surfing around for inspiration to perhaps make my next header picture (you know, the one that always changes at the top?). anyway, i found this pic and decided to share. haha, it's a good laugh.. hmm... someone i probably will not hire.
~~~~~
Be true to yourself. =)
~~~~~
expectally, soccer was good on Sunday, for pictures, you can refer here.
unfortunately:
1) the ball somehow got kicked really high onto one of the horizontal pillars and stayed there. (like whats the freaking probability?)
2) my team was behind 4-3 at that moment. Victor, who kicked it up there, happened to be from the other team. speak about sportsmanship.
3) i injured my toe and my soccer boots are dying (hint hint)
fortunately:
1) the person who kicked the ball up happens to be the owner of the ball
2) no windows were broken in RI
shopping with Chelsea after that for Yueping's archery-shared present proved to be.. erm.. interesting. Visited the book fair while we were at it. it has further proven my theory on my style of shopping. after seeing an item that i really need/ want (which isn't many i can tell you), and if the price seems like a bargain to me, i would be VERY tempted to buy it. however, i was pursuaded to look around first for even better bargains, if not we can go back there again. ah, this is where Kenneth's logic comes in. most of the time, i may not see a better bargain, or am too lazy to go back to the first shop, or my interest for the object would have fallen, and i would not buy after i leave that shop behind me. the stupid thing is that i'll probably need that thing soon (ok, to avoid confusion, it's glossy photopaper we're taking about), so i'll find myself going out to get it again. argh. so i've always practised the superb intuitive buying, which, in my opinion, is highly efficient.
~~~~~
6 june also happens to be Jolene's and Gerald first year together! yeah! happy first anniversary! since they are half a globe physically apart now, i've helped Jolene create the picture below (steps as indicated.. shall not elaborate) using photoshop. it was great fun. haha. i think i should try to create neocards as a living. *grin*
fooling around with photoshop (click to enlarge)
~~~~~
and it also happens to be Huayang's birthday! a few of us met up for dinner at Kenny Rogers, afterwhich we spent post-dinner coffee at TCC .
somehow we always find ourselves taking photos at Millenia Walk, goodness know why. haha, so here's another photo of my (unusally depleted) sec 2 class. hmm, i was the photographer, so i had to be the words "me" in the photo.
we had loads of fun, mainly spent on poking fun at the birthday boy, making silly ACS jokes (what do u expect from old RI boys?), and chatting about schoolmates and where everyone has been.
i enjoyed the catching up. thanks old chaps.
~~~~~
training was good today, hit a personal best and both rounds above 240! woah!
i really liked the song "Security" by Joss Stone as of late, so i started surfing around for inspiration to perhaps make my next header picture (you know, the one that always changes at the top?). anyway, i found this pic and decided to share. haha, it's a good laugh.. hmm... someone i probably will not hire.
~~~~~
He who hides from himself,
hides from God.
Be true to yourself. =)
Sunday, June 05, 2005
a long cold shower
it is simply one of those nights. humidity adds to frustration easily. worse if in a stuffy room.
i needed that long cold shower.
i can't be certain if it was the heat that unsettled me, or something else. but as with all negative notions, they all flood in once just one part of the walls are broken down.
i thought of my results for this sem. it was by far the worst of all 4 sems. while i once thought yesterday that i had come to terms with it, the pangs strike again. disappointment would be an understatement. it was ok results by any standards, but somewhere inside me knew that i was capable of much more, and i had let myself down. waves of sadness and disappointment swept by, and i could almost feel the coldness in my lungs and the dryness in my throat.
then again, it's all about expectations isn't it? after doing so well last sem, getting all my hopes up, this is truly saddening. sigh, i couldn't handle expectations well at all, especially those of mine.
~~~~~
tired. tired of an irony.
sometimes i wish there was someone to just listen to me. when i seemed to have so much to say.
but the irony comes when the person suddenly appear, but i find myself speechless.
~~~~~
i dislike being a 23 year old driver. sometimes i think i'm not taken seriously. you know, like some young punk who just got his license.
it is the impression i get everytime i pump petrol or wash the car at the car wash. and today when i send the car for servicing. it's just queer to be called "sir" and be served by someone older. thoughts run through my head like maybe they wouldn't serve me as well cos it's a young undeserving punk who's probably driving his old man's car etc etc.
sometimes, i get so paranoid that i even become embarrassed at being served.
~~~~~
on well, got to always balance with happier moments.
had a friendly shoot with the Changi Archery Club (from Changi Airport!) on Friday at Changi Airport! haha, my second year there and they are really nice people to have hosted us and even provide a KTV room after the shoot =) their range is a small one at the top of Carpark B. hmm, with this paragraph, i've just displayed my inability for description and narration, so i should not go on. here's a pic to save me trouble.
Alvin setting up bow at Changi Airport Range
serene sunset
I guess the highlight was the knockout shoot we had amongst the 5 of us. the tension was so great that i got really nervous. where every of the 9 arrows count. i'm not going to deny it, but i was happy to have won the shootout by 4 points =) even if it was sheer luck that Zhan Tau and Zhicong shot a bad last 3 arrows, when we were almost tied (just one point away) after 6 arrows.
and well done to Huiting! who emerged champion of the standard class! great feat it was. well done girl! the force is strong within u!
and like how good days should end, i met Chelsea after her work and spent a bit of time together before going home. She gave me a little bone with a chain thingy! that will go on my quiver soon! Thanks dear!
~~~~~
after the shower and all the writing, i guess i'm too tired to be frustrated. so off to bed i will go! and hopefully soccer on sunday morning a few hours from now will be good.
goodnight world.
i needed that long cold shower.
i can't be certain if it was the heat that unsettled me, or something else. but as with all negative notions, they all flood in once just one part of the walls are broken down.
i thought of my results for this sem. it was by far the worst of all 4 sems. while i once thought yesterday that i had come to terms with it, the pangs strike again. disappointment would be an understatement. it was ok results by any standards, but somewhere inside me knew that i was capable of much more, and i had let myself down. waves of sadness and disappointment swept by, and i could almost feel the coldness in my lungs and the dryness in my throat.
then again, it's all about expectations isn't it? after doing so well last sem, getting all my hopes up, this is truly saddening. sigh, i couldn't handle expectations well at all, especially those of mine.
indeed, the higher you climb
the greater you fall.
~~~~~
tired. tired of an irony.
sometimes i wish there was someone to just listen to me. when i seemed to have so much to say.
but the irony comes when the person suddenly appear, but i find myself speechless.
~~~~~
i dislike being a 23 year old driver. sometimes i think i'm not taken seriously. you know, like some young punk who just got his license.
it is the impression i get everytime i pump petrol or wash the car at the car wash. and today when i send the car for servicing. it's just queer to be called "sir" and be served by someone older. thoughts run through my head like maybe they wouldn't serve me as well cos it's a young undeserving punk who's probably driving his old man's car etc etc.
sometimes, i get so paranoid that i even become embarrassed at being served.
~~~~~
on well, got to always balance with happier moments.
had a friendly shoot with the Changi Archery Club (from Changi Airport!) on Friday at Changi Airport! haha, my second year there and they are really nice people to have hosted us and even provide a KTV room after the shoot =) their range is a small one at the top of Carpark B. hmm, with this paragraph, i've just displayed my inability for description and narration, so i should not go on. here's a pic to save me trouble.
Alvin setting up bow at Changi Airport Range
serene sunset
I guess the highlight was the knockout shoot we had amongst the 5 of us. the tension was so great that i got really nervous. where every of the 9 arrows count. i'm not going to deny it, but i was happy to have won the shootout by 4 points =) even if it was sheer luck that Zhan Tau and Zhicong shot a bad last 3 arrows, when we were almost tied (just one point away) after 6 arrows.
and well done to Huiting! who emerged champion of the standard class! great feat it was. well done girl! the force is strong within u!
and like how good days should end, i met Chelsea after her work and spent a bit of time together before going home. She gave me a little bone with a chain thingy! that will go on my quiver soon! Thanks dear!
~~~~~
after the shower and all the writing, i guess i'm too tired to be frustrated. so off to bed i will go! and hopefully soccer on sunday morning a few hours from now will be good.
goodnight world.
Friday, June 03, 2005
silence speaks
and maybe we have, sometimes, spoke too much that we forget to listen. to hear.
Nature has given to men one tongue, but two ears,
that we may hear from others twice as much as we speak
- Epictetus
and often i have, deep in the nights, sat up and listen. pros of being a scout, it is only at night when you can truly hear the woody nature come to live.
and even better, it is only at this time, when you can hear yourself. thoughts out loud.
it is sad, maybe, that silence might become legends soon. day by day, men invent machines that increase noise and distraction. distraction, from the essence of life, of contemplation.
silence speaks, but can you hear it? comprehend it? it even screams at you sometimes. for so long, I've yearned for someone to hear my silences and understand it, but I guess it's too high an expectation. lip-tighted, but yet the chest pounds with every word screamed within.
when words become unclear
i hope a picture can really paint a thousand words.
but when images become inadequate
be content,
with my silence.
silence at the right time is eloquence. and how true! there's nothing wrong with having nothing to say, well, unless one insist of making comments (don't you find such people irritating sometimes? haha). for a long time, i have admired silence, and people who neither brag nor seek attention, but yet from their twinkling eyes and knowing smiles, I know that they hold much substance. and such charm that exudes from them!
有所言，有所不言，
智者知晓其中之分。
maybe i should end off with a story, surely a familiar one.
An old man lived all alone by the side of the railway track, and every day at midnight, the train drives by and shook the earth with its thunderous sounds. For 30 years, this went on, and the old man got used to it. but on one day after that, the train did not appear at midnight. The old man woke up startled at midnight, and exclaimed "what happened?!"
silence speaks
hear it.
Wednesday, June 01, 2005
5 is an odd number
today i shall relate a story.
about a few years back, I was asked to go out with my pals, in fact, 2 couples, all of whom I know pretty well. So along i tagged, with June Kiat and Meiru, and Jason and Eunice. I know it was going to be weird, like what on earth was I doing hanging out with a double date? unless it was yet another lame attempt to make me feel out of place and hint me to get a girlfriend fast.
Well, whatever. hah. Of course, things could have been fun if we were all just "friends" and not "two couples" plus an "individual". I even felt bad sometimes when any of the couple tried to make me part of a new "threesome". it just doesn't work all the time. fortunately we are all good friends from JC and orientation team, so it isn't all that bad.
to Pizza Hut, we went. I can never forget that scene. As you probably figured, most fast food restaurants has square tables, and squares being squares, they have four sides. Being a Saturday evening, it was very unfortuate that there were any seats with 2 tables left so we had to make do with 1 square table for the 5 of us.
at the corner i sat, with the sharp edge pointing at me. poor me.
i emphasied that tables were made squares for a good reason.
5 is a weird number to be out.
why did i ever agree. argh.
~~~~~
1 is an individual
2 is a couple
3 is a crowd
4 is a party
5?
5 is an odd number.
~~~~~
nevertheless, KTV anyone? i think 5 is fine for KTV too.
We can be boy bands!
wait, there are only two mics.
about a few years back, I was asked to go out with my pals, in fact, 2 couples, all of whom I know pretty well. So along i tagged, with June Kiat and Meiru, and Jason and Eunice. I know it was going to be weird, like what on earth was I doing hanging out with a double date? unless it was yet another lame attempt to make me feel out of place and hint me to get a girlfriend fast.
Well, whatever. hah. Of course, things could have been fun if we were all just "friends" and not "two couples" plus an "individual". I even felt bad sometimes when any of the couple tried to make me part of a new "threesome". it just doesn't work all the time. fortunately we are all good friends from JC and orientation team, so it isn't all that bad.
to Pizza Hut, we went. I can never forget that scene. As you probably figured, most fast food restaurants has square tables, and squares being squares, they have four sides. Being a Saturday evening, it was very unfortuate that there were any seats with 2 tables left so we had to make do with 1 square table for the 5 of us.
at the corner i sat, with the sharp edge pointing at me. poor me.
i emphasied that tables were made squares for a good reason.
5 is a weird number to be out.
why did i ever agree. argh.
~~~~~
1 is an individual
2 is a couple
3 is a crowd
4 is a party
5?
5 is an odd number.
~~~~~
nevertheless, KTV anyone? i think 5 is fine for KTV too.
We can be boy bands!
wait, there are only two mics.
Song: 
HaloScan