it is simply one of those nights. humidity adds to frustration easily. worse if in a stuffy room.

i needed that long cold shower.

i can't be certain if it was the heat that unsettled me, or something else. but as with all negative notions, they all flood in once just one part of the walls are broken down.

i thought of my results for this sem. it was by far the worst of all 4 sems. while i once thought yesterday that i had come to terms with it, the pangs strike again. disappointment would be an understatement. it was ok results by any standards, but somewhere inside me knew that i was capable of much more, and i had let myself down. waves of sadness and disappointment swept by, and i could almost feel the coldness in my lungs and the dryness in my throat.

then again, it's all about expectations isn't it? after doing so well last sem, getting all my hopes up, this is truly saddening. sigh, i couldn't handle expectations well at all, especially those of mine.



~~~~~

tired. tired of an irony.

sometimes i wish there was someone to just listen to me. when i seemed to have so much to say.
but the irony comes when the person suddenly appear, but i find myself speechless.

~~~~~

i dislike being a 23 year old driver. sometimes i think i'm not taken seriously. you know, like some young punk who just got his license.

it is the impression i get everytime i pump petrol or wash the car at the car wash. and today when i send the car for servicing. it's just queer to be called "sir" and be served by someone older. thoughts run through my head like maybe they wouldn't serve me as well cos it's a young undeserving punk who's probably driving his old man's car etc etc.

sometimes, i get so paranoid that i even become embarrassed at being served.

~~~~~

on well, got to always balance with happier moments.

had a friendly shoot with the Changi Archery Club (from Changi Airport!) on Friday at Changi Airport! haha, my second year there and they are really nice people to have hosted us and even provide a KTV room after the shoot =) their range is a small one at the top of Carpark B. hmm, with this paragraph, i've just displayed my inability for description and narration, so i should not go on. here's a pic to save me trouble.


Alvin setting up bow at Changi Airport Range
serene sunset

I guess the highlight was the knockout shoot we had amongst the 5 of us. the tension was so great that i got really nervous. where every of the 9 arrows count. i'm not going to deny it, but i was happy to have won the shootout by 4 points =) even if it was sheer luck that Zhan Tau and Zhicong shot a bad last 3 arrows, when we were almost tied (just one point away) after 6 arrows.

and well done to Huiting! who emerged champion of the standard class! great feat it was. well done girl! the force is strong within u!

and like how good days should end, i met Chelsea after her work and spent a bit of time together before going home. She gave me a little bone with a chain thingy! that will go on my quiver soon! Thanks dear!

~~~~~

after the shower and all the writing, i guess i'm too tired to be frustrated. so off to bed i will go! and hopefully soccer on sunday morning a few hours from now will be good.

goodnight world.