After a blissful week of slacking after my last paper ended, I just knew reality would hit in soon. After all, a fantastically rosy picture of the world never really existed.

Now as I continue to float along the path of academia, I could no longer pretend to ignore the looming mist ahead one year from now. Of not just simply a career choice, but really what I want of my life from that point on.

As I think about my goals, passions and what the world has in store for me, I start to wonder if really, there was going to be a demand for Econs graduates. Was I going to study so hard for a subject I like for nothing? Is the degree going to be an end-all of my education?

No internship as of today. All the interviews. All the effort. I think reality has a way of putting me down into my self-pity state. Am I really that undesired by the working world out there?

It's just strings and strings of incoherent thoughts striking my mind.

Was I going to regret not taking up triple science in JC? Or double maths? Or Law in NUS? Or even Business? So that my choices are more limited. And decent. And more wanted.

What choices lie ahead for me? So far, all it seems are being an insurance agent or even MLM business. Am I going to study so hard at a degree for that? Will I be happy doing sales? Is it really for me? Possibly losing friends?

Further my studies and be a prof? And then what, teach?

Work in a MNC/ bank/ whatever, get stuck at some executive post with a decent fixed income and watch all the scholars climb ahead?

Maybe I was brought up in an environment that tells me that life holds so much for me. And now I start to doubt, and start to lose that confidence. Maybe I really wasn't as good as I make myself out to be after all.

And what do I want out of life. Lots and lots of money? Job satisfaction in something I like to do that doesn't involve haunting people like an irritant? All I know is, I want to making an honest, decent living. Stress is fine, but something that I must be able to do with pride and not something that will keep me up all night worrying if I've made the right choice.

I don't even know what I'm writing anymore. Argh.

# rambled by Kenneth @ 7:53 PM