... is not an oxymoron.

I was flipping through the channels today (and you will realise that cable TV has more to offer than ESPN) and settled down watching an episode of The Simpsons.

So 1990s.

To be exact. Season Number 3, Episode Number 53, Titled "Separate Vocations", First Aired on February 27, 1992.

Hate to admit, but it was half an hour of thought-provoking entertainment.

For non-Simpsons fans, I apologise, but you should at least know the famed animated family. And while it's hard to relate to the episode without having watched it, here's the rough synopsis.

It's an unusual day at Springfield Elementary School, as the teachers administer the all-important Career Aptitude Normalizing Test (CANT), which will determine what is the ideal occupation for each student, after the test goes through this agency that says "Deciding your Destiny since 1928" *laughs*. Both Lisa Simpson and Bart are quite taken aback when they get their results -- scholarly Lisa, who has ambitions of a career as a jazz musician, is told she's best off becoming a housewife, while underachieving hellion Bart gets word he'd make a fine police officer. After Lisa's music teacher tells her that her stubby fingers would make a career as a musician unlikely, she develops a bad attitude and starts handing out with a gang of chain-smoking fifth-grade delinquents. Bart, on the other hand, becomes a hall monitor and discovers he enjoys being the long arm of the law (authority). But both Bart and Lisa have to take a long look at their recent behavior when the special teachers' editions of all the school's textbooks go missing -- and Bart discovers his sister is the culprit and takes the rap, winds up with six hundred days in detention, and returns to his life as a bad student and detention regular.

I was sniggering out the idea of this big government agency deciding the fate of its citizens. Like "Hey Kenneth, from the aptitude test, I think you were meant to be a boring Professor stuck in NUS, making new students yawn everyday." Big conspiracy theory. Whatever happened to "freedom of choice" and "everyone is unique"?

And you know. What happens if somewhere along your life, someone told you that your life is never going to turn out like your dreams? If someone took away your dreams and turn it into an illusion? How would one react? What would one do? Accept, adapt and be defeated? Fight and pave dreams?

Plus, despite The Simpsons being so insane, they have some pretty good quotable quotes. And if you look at the funny ones in agood light, they actually make hell a lot of sense.

Check these out:

Lisa on her life. Sadly inspiring. The meaning of dreams?
"Well, I'm going to be a famous jazz musician. I've got it all figured out. I'll be unappreciated in my own country, but my gutsy blues stylings will electrify the French. I'll avoid the horrors of drug abuse, but I do plan to have several torrid love affairs, and I may or may not die young. I haven't decided."

Edna, the school teacher, on the aptitude test.
"Some of you may discover a wonderful vocation you'd never even imagined. Others may find out life isn't fair, in spite of your Masters from Bryn Mawr, you might end up a glorified babysitter to a bunch of dead-eyed fourth graders while your husband runs naked on a beach with your marriage counselor!"

Almost-Sweet brotherly ending.
Lisa: "Bart, why did you take the blame?"
Bart: "Because I didn't want you to wreck your life. You got the brains and the talent to go as far as you want. And when you do, I'll be right there to borrow money."

*****

More Trivial Stuff.

1) Do you know that very attractive men and women earn at least 5% more per hour than people with average looks?

2) Plain women earn 5% less than women with average looks, and plain men earn 10% less than average men.

3) Most employers pay overweight women 20% less an hour than women of average weight, while men who are slightly overweight earn 26% more than their underweight co-workers.

4) Of men with vurtually identical resume, the taller man will be hired about 72% of the time.

Now you know what to do.

*****

It is strangely inspiring, the episode I mean. That despite life being realistically unfair, we should know that we have the will and ability to go as far as we want.

And when you do, tell me. I'll be there to borrow money.